TOPLIST #1: X-Men


               T:
          Just got back from Days of Future Past. Probably the
          best since X2. It's really about discrimination and fear
          again, instead of about superpowers.
               R:
          Yeah, after a couple of movies they just sort of throw
          those themes out the window. First Class tried to find
          them again.
               T:
          Last Stand has the themes more than First Class.
               R:
          Does not!
               T:
          Does too!
               R:
          Let us make an X-Men toplist.

               T:
          On 7th place I have X-Men: First Class.
               R:
          Really?
               T:
          Of all the franchises I grew up with X-Men the most.
          The comics, the TV show, now the movies. More than
          Star Wars, more than any other geek thing that I was
          far too into. And to me, Matthew Vaugn doesn't get
          X-Men. He makes fun movies, but they're not X-Men.
          Vaugn has far too much fun. But X-Men isn't
          Avengers. X-Men isn't fun. X-Men is about
          discrimination and racism, about fear, loneliness and
          group behaviour. It's like Vaugn just wanted to make
          a Bond movie.
               R:
          This is nothing like Bond.
               T:
          My problem with Matthew Vaugn's X-Men is a bit
          like your problem with the JJ Abrams Star Trek
          movies. They're fun, but they're not Star Trek. I didn't
          grow up with Star Trek, so it's all fine by me.
               R:
          But those are discriminatingly bad! But I understand
          the comparison. I really liked Magneto in First Class
          though.
               T:
          Yeah, Magneto's storyline was great. But I had a
          problem with most of the other mutants. Banshee and
          Angel, the girl who spits fireballs. Those aren't cool
          powers. Especially not for a movie. That entire
          Xavier storyline, which is basically about a rich kid
          who get's off on peoples powers. First Class
          should've been what it was originally going to be:
          X-Men Origins: Magneto. With just Magneto and
          Sebastian Shaw as the only mutants. But now they
          had like a thousand different mutants running around
          in that movie, far too many for the sixties, when
          nobody in the world was supposed to even know they
          existed. Days of Future Past tries to rectify some of
          that, bringing the mutants more undercover, instead
          of out in the open. Which works better with X1.
               R:
          I haven't seen Days of Future Past yet, so I don't have
          a 7th place.

               R:
          On 6th place I have X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
               T:
          Me too.
               R:
          It's an hilariously melodramatic shit of a film. Dumb
          characters, horrible writing. Only some of the scenes
          with Wolverine being witty were sorta funny.
               T:
          It drifts off pretty far from the Wolverine and setting
          we saw in X1, to which this is essentially a prequel.
          And some of the VFX are really bad.
               R:
          How could they approve those?
               T:
          I have no idea. I used to superhate Origins as well,
          but not anymore. Maybe I've gotten used to it, maybe
          I've discovered the good bits in it.
               R:
          Oh you actually watched this more than once?
               T:
          I told you, X-Men is my bible.
               R:
          Oh yeah, right.

               R:
          On 5th place I have The Wolverine.
               T:
          Me too! It's very 'different' isn't it?
               R:
          This is kinda like Bond. Reminds me somewhat of
          You Only Live Twice.
               T:
          I don't really watch Bond films. I liked the red-headed
          girl. Yukio. But I found it a little weird that the whole
          mutant issue wasn't really going on in this movie,
          whilst this is supposed to happen after Last Stand.
               R:
          I guess all of that isn't really going on in Japan.
               T:
          Setting it in Japan was a nice breath of fresh air though.
               R:
          I thought this was everything Origins should have been.
               T:
          Maybe, though I didn't really get what exactly
          Wolverine's arc was in this. That was left far too
          vague to focus on it so entirely. The swordfights were
          great, by the way.

 
               R:
          On 4th place I have The Last Stand.
               T:
          Again: Me too.
               R:
          It's a fine continuation of the first two, but it suffers
          from crowded plots and characters.
               T:
          Really? Than you won't like Days of Future Past,
          which is the most crowded of all X-Men movies yet.
          But I thought Last Stand was kinda simple in it's story.
          Little exposition and stuff, but more made as the third
          act to a story, the trilogy, which made this the action
          climax. I think it works if you think about it like that.
          But you're right that they introduce a lot of mutants
          that don't really have a function, like Vinnie Jones as
          Juggernaut, which was terrible. Though, to Brett
          Ratner's defense, he was cast when Matthew Vaugn
          was still going to direct it I think. Matthew Vaugn
          really doesn't get X-Men.
               R:
          It focusses on cool mutant powers too much, and it's
          missing the themes of X1 and 2.
               T:
          No! It has those themes, with the cure, the oppression.
          That subplot of Rogue deciding to get rid of her
          powers.
               R:
          I thought that was Mystique's story in First Class.
          Before first class she wasn't that interesting a
          character.
               T:
          First Class is a 60's revenge movie. Last Stand is
          Brett Ratner trying to make a Bryan Singer movie,
          which is closer to what X-Men should be I think.
               R:
          I just enjoyed First Class a lot more.

 
               T:
          So on 3rd place I have X-Men: Days of Future Past.
          The middle act is a little slow, as it over-X-plains the
          plot for non-X-perts. But the first and final thirds of
          the movie are as good as Singer's other episodes. It
          didn't really feel as big as the budget suggested it was
          going to be, but then again, X-Men movies have
          never really felt huge in the way Avengers or
          Transformers feels huge. It focusses more on
          character. Which is also sort of my only problem with
          DOFP. The movie's main story is about Wolverine
          having to convince Xavier to become the Xavier we
          know from Patrick Stewart. This is fine, but the
          depressed Xavier just isn't one I personally like very
          much. Also: I would've liked to have seen more of the
          future bits, 'cause they were awesome. These are
          minor details. Overall it was very good. A return to
          form for the franchise with a nice teaser for the next
          part: X-Men: Apocalypse.
               R:
          My 3rd place has First Class, which we already sort
          of discussed. It has some of the same problems that
          Last Stand has, being overcrowded with plot and
          characters, but it was more enjoyable. But I really
          would've wanted it to be a Xavier/Magneto buddy
          cop movie à la Lethal Weapon.

 
               T:
          My 2nd place is X2: X-Men United, which is a
          terrible title by the way.
               R:
          But a great film.
               T:
          It's a lot cooler than the first one, more slick and
          actiony. Especially in that opening scene.
               R:
          My 2nd place is the first one actually: X-Men. A
          great way to start a franchise and introduce the
          universe, the characters and the themes.

               T:
          My 1st place is the only one left: X-Men. The movie
          that sort of started the comic book movie craze and, I
          would say, is still the best one ever made. The
          dialogue and the metaphor are so spot on that they
          overshadow the comic book fun in a great way,
          making it very real, for a comic book movie. Maybe
          even the most real of all comic book movies. This is
          one of my all time favorite movies.
               R:
          My 1st place goes to X2 for the same reason why The
          Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie. Like
          Empire this too is very dependent on the first film, but
          it continues and improves on it's characters and
          themes in a great way.
               T:
          Let's recap.

     T:               R:
7.   First Class      -
     

6.   Origins          Origins
     

5.   Wolverine        Wolverine
     

4.   Last Stand       Last Stand
     

3.   Future Past      First Class
     

2.   X2               X-Men
     

1.   X-Men            X2
     

COMMENTARY #1: Godzilla (1998)


               T:
          I just saw the new Godzilla movie.
               R:
          I have not seen it yet.
               T:
          While it was a lot more loyal to the
          original japanese movies, and the
          monster fight scenes were absolutely
          epic, I didn’t really connect to the
          characters. In fact, most of what they
          do has no influence on the story at all,
          and the female characters are reduced
          to the bare minimum. They could’ve
          easily cut about 45 minutes of scenes
          with humans without any effect on the
          story. Cranston’s character is the only
          one that was sort of interesting. I like
          the ‘98 Godzilla a lot more. There, I
          said it. When that came out 16 years
          ago (!), I was eleven and it blew my
          mind to shit.
               R:
          As a kid yes, but as an adult no. It has
          the Episode 1 syndrome.
               T:
          It does not!
               R:
          It does too!
               T:
          Let us watch Roland Emmerich’s
          Godzilla.

               R:
          For some reason also the name of our
          hero.
               T:
          Yeah, they changed the name of the
          main character to honor the designer.
          He’s the guy who also did the robots
          from I, Robot and the werewolves
          from Underworld I think.
               R: 
          Honor the designer? The writer just
          needed a funny name, because people
          saying your name wrong is fucking
          funny.
               T:
          We’ll never be able to find out if that
          was what it was, ‘cause they’ll never
          admit to it not being an homage.
          Though I must say that
          tapadopapopoulos is a pretty funny
          name.
          Now, the opening credits of the new
          Godzilla actually have a very similar
          vibe, though they don’t fit that movie
          all that well. They should have just
          started the movie, like with the Dark
          Knight. No title, no nothing.
          Would’ve suited that movie better. But
          I like it here.

               T:
          Boom. Leon is in this bitch.
               R:
          Yea, as a lovely french stereotype.
               T:
          I don’t think that counts as a stereotype,
          but he is definitely French. The whole
          thing where all the french characters are
          called jean-something is a weird joke.
          My main problem with the french thing
          is that they were the ones who caused
          this with all of their nuclear testing. In
          reality up until 1998 the french have
          caused exactly 210 nuclear explosions,
          whilst the americans detonated 1032 of
          those assholes (the first two of which
          were in Japan). Emmerich is german, so
          I don’t think he really minded who
          created ‘Zilla. This was probably the
          studio saying that some other country
          had to be the cause.
               R:
          Saying stuff like: “where is my
          croissant?” makes him a bit of a
          stereotype.
               T:
          There’s a lot of silly cliche’s yes, but
          the character itself is not a stereotype.
          The-French-secret-agent-who-hates-
          american-coffee-and-is-unaware-of-
          donuts-but-loves-Elvis is not a
          stereotype.

               T:
          Love how they go from huge-hint-at-
          what’s-going-on to huge-hint-at-
          what’s-going-on during this opening bit
          where they introduce the main
          characters. Finding these footprints is
          kind of like them finding the planes in
          Close Encounters.
               R:
          Sure, but having two whole sequences
          of boats being destroyed was really
          unnecessary.
               T:
          Yeah, he must really like fish. Godzilla,
          not Emmerich. Or maybe Emmerich too.
          Who knows.
               R:
          There are rumors…

               R:
          Was Jean Reno also holding a camera?
               T:
          Maybe they're watching Godzilla '98 on
          VHS.
          I like how both this and the new movie
          reference the original name Gojira on
          multiple occasions.
               R:
          And an American reporter saying it
          wrong as ‘Godzilla’ is also a nice
          reference.

               T:
          See! I told you this was like Close
          Encounters! They both have boats on
          land as part of their huge-hint-at-
          what’s-going-on-montage. Love how
          they did this shot by the way. I think the
          boat is a miniature that is composited in?
          Looks pretty epic. Say what you will
          about Emmerich, but he knows how to
          make stuff look huge.
               R:
          Yeah, this is a miniature. The 90’s was
          a great period of still using old practical
          effects and using the latest (but not
          always realistic) CGI and digital
          compositing.
          Emmerich know how to make things
          huge? No way! Godzilla looked no
          where near as big as it should have
          been. The first 10 minutes of
          introducing Godzilla was great. The
          camera was always on the same level
          as the people, making Godzilla really
          big. But after awhile they got lazy with
          the animation. Godzilla was suddenly
          moving way too fast for its size. and
          instead of Godzilla being huge the
          buildings looked really small.
               T:
          True, I meant it more in the sense that
          the could’ve had a ship in the dock with
          some scratches on it. But with
          Emmerich, the entire ship is on a beach,
          with tanks and jeeps beside it, hundreds
          of extras, etc. Spielberg did this with
          encounters, but a lot of big budget
          movies are actually kinda small. The
          special effects are big, but the sets are
          small. Not with Emmerich. There’s
          always people running around in the
          background. In some ways the 90’s
          were the best era for VFX. Sure, the
          CG wasn’t that great yet, but combining
          CG with miniatures and puppets really
          diverts your attention from the VFX to
          the story (assuming there is a story).
               R: 
          Spielberg (really all filmmakers before
          CGI) was doing things small because
          he had to. The technology was simply
          not advanced enough to do everything
          a filmmaker wanted. I think having
          these kind of restrictions makes for
          really creative solutions to tell a story. 

               T:
          This shit also kicked be in the face
          when I first saw it. They might have
          used some miniatures, but in a shot like
          this I think they really just pulled that
          entire ship under at full speed with the
          stuntmen on it. 
               R:
          I think they used miniatures for some
          shots. Sometimes the water looks really
          weird

               T:
          Hank Azaria is in this as well. The cast
          is actually pretty great. Broderick, Reno,
          that guy from Spinal Tap. Azaria’s life
          action career never really took off. I
          thought he was funny in this and in
          Mystery Men where he was the fork
          throwing Blue Raja. But both those
          films sort of flopped I think. So now
          he’s back doing 80% of all Simpsons
          voices.
               R:
          I always had the impression that he was
          being paid handsomely for The
          Simpsons and having small roles in
          films was just something he did for fun.

               R:
          Godzilla makes wood explode
               T:
          That poor guy super-died.

               R:
          Nice practical creature FX
               T:
          That shit is practical? Awesome. Also:
          A lot of people super-die in this movie.
               R:
          Most of the close ups were made with a
          puppet Godzilla. I think they could
          have done more practical shots in the
          style of the Rancor in return of the Jedi
          or the aliens in Alien3.
               T:
          Alien3 has some of the worst
          compositing possible by the way.
               R:
          Yeah, that was a problem, but the
          movement of the aliens was great.

               R:
          Even Barney looks more like Godzilla
               T:
          True, he doesn’t really look like the
          classic Godzilla, though from an
          objective point of view I think this
          makes a lot more sense than the fatzilla.
          What is he, descended from hippo’s?
          The only reason Godzilla was fat in the
          first place is because they had to fit a
          guy in that suit. I thought they did a
          great redesign. But fans don’t want
          redesigns. They want the exact same
          thing. A guy once told me the
          Transformers movies suck because the
          transformers don’t look exactly like they
          do in the cartoons. Of all the reasons he
          could pick, THAT was why he thought
          those movies sucked. There is no way
          Bay could’ve made a bunch of colorful
          boxes look real.
               R:
          The problem with this design is it looks
          like a dinosaur and not a monster. I
          don’t mind a redesign either but using
          the Godzilla name was completely
          unnecessary. Emmerich saw the
          Jurassic Park movies and wanted to
          make a dinosaur film for himself.
          Knowing that he couldn't get away
          with making another dinosaur movie he
          used the godzilla name without looking
          at the original movies. Its is really
          disrespectful, and if you want to make a
          remake you need to have respect for the
          source.
               T:
          That’s true. If this was called
          Cloverfield it might not have flopped.

               R:
          Lets fly low between skyscrapers in
          Apache helicopters. Smart!
               T:
          But it looks awesome. I love how they
          have New York be this rainy colourless
          place.
               R:
          I bet they used rainy and foggy weather
          to get the CGI more realistic. Around
          this time it was really hard to get a
          realistic CGI character/monster in bright
          sunlight. Jurassic Park being the
          exception.
               T:
          That might actually be true, because the
          sunlight is exactly where Disney’s
          Dinosaur (2 years after this) completely
          failed. Whether it is just to get away
          with effects or not, it does add a nice
          atmosphere.

               T:
          Now these guys, the Mayor and his
          right hand, are called Siskel and Ebert.
          They even kind of look like them. I
          never really got why.
               R:
          HA! You’re right! Does Ebert eating a
          lot of candy also has something to do
          with this?

               T:
          I feel this is overlooked. The main
          female character in this is actually
          pretty fleshed out. She’s not a damsel
          in distress, she’s not some evil bitch.
          She has her own motives and her own
          arc. She makes bad decisions and good
          ones. Almost reminds us of a real
          person. Good on you, Hollywood!
               R:
          Strong female leads was a product of
          the 90’s I believe. Now we have strong
          psychical female leads who are also
          really sexy looking (Transformers,
          Sucker Punch, the Resident Evil films),
          which I think is weird. nothing against
          women being psychical and being sexy,
          but it feels like Hollywood is missing
          the point.

               R:
          Thank god! The Pepsi machine still
          works.
               T:
          Product placement is at the heart of
          hollywood. It’s why they get to make
          the big movies.

               R:
          Bad VFX. Soldiers coming out of
          nowhere.
               T:
          I have to admit: I didn’t notice it.

               R:
          This whole scene feels like a
          Scooby-Doo chase.
               T:
          It does, doesn’t it? I never got how
          something as huge as Godzilla could
          hide, nor why they would fly at
          eye-level with him/it, instead of above
          him/it. It does make for some awesome
          shots.

               T:
          The King Kong shot.
               R:
          It's too bad that Emmerich was being
          inspired by american monster movies
          and not the japanese ones.
          At one point you could see one of the
          monsters of Ray Harryhausen on a
          television screen.

               T:
          “Well, he was eating, so he must be a
          female who is pregnant.”
               R:
          Those are some massive mood swings...

               R:
          Great way to keep things secret.
               T:
          They should’ve written ‘Son of
          Godzilla’ on the tape. I never want to
          see that again.

               T:
          I’ll admit that this whole egg/babyzilla
          thing ventures pretty far from the
          original films. Also: Those eggs are
          gross and seem a little big for what
          comes out of it. I thought they were
          supposed to be all curled up in there?
               R:
          That’s what radiation does to ya.
          I always wondered, Godzilla was the
          first of its kind right? But did he himself
          mutated into something big or was this
          mutation passed on over generations?
          If so, there must be more godzilla’s out
          there only smaller like Matryoshka dolls.
               T:
          Oh, yeah, it’s definitely the Matryoshka
          thing. There we’re gonna* do a sequel
          called Godzilla Reunion where all the
          different sizes of Godzilla were reunited
          and snapped together into MegaGodzilla.
          *not gonna
               R:
          I would actually go see that.
               T:
          A sequel to the new Godzilla has
          already been greenlit, so who knows
          what will happen.

               R:
          By having Godzilla and young
          Minizilla’s he got to have T-rex and
          raptor action scenes. Emmerich had
          know idea what to do with Godzilla.
          He really just wanted to make a Jurassic
          Park film.
               T:
          Can you blame him? I’ll answer that
          one: No one can be blamed for wanting
          to make a Jurassic Park film. Except for
          maybe like Lars von Trier. I would
          never want to see his Jurassic Park.
          Who do you think would make a great
          Jurassic Park movie?
          No Spielberg’s allowed.
               R:
          Other director? Wes Anderson. Pretty
          much the same movie, but with
          characters having an existential crisis
          and cartoony stop motion dinosaurs.
          And really bright colors.
               T:
          I was gonna say Wes Anderson! Those
          raincoats already look like they belong
          in a Wes Anderson movie anyway.
          That is actually the only director where
          you’re certain that even a Jurassic Park
          remake thing would be awesome.
          We should disagree more.

               R:
          Whats this movie trying to tell me?
          Be sympathetic to Godzilla or see it
          (and its children) as a threat? 
               T:
          It was a threat, but not by intent. It
          was just an animal trying to protect
          itself. This is actually some nice
          commentary on the way we treat
          nature. We should be careful because
          our reckless intrusion on nature is
          having a bigger and bigger influence.
          Like when they just discovered that
          something inside most pesticides is
          actually killing all bees. That shit will
          fuck up the entire ecosystem. Without
          bees plants won’t reproduce. If plants
          die out, no oxygen. Oversimplifying,
          yes, but not untrue. The movie isn’t
          super clever or anything, but then again,
          neither is any other Godzilla movie ever
          made. I prefer it over the new one,
          where Godzilla is like Mother Nature’s
          Neighborhood Watch or something, but
          also there to protect mankind? If you’re
          there to protect nature, the first fuckin’
          thing you do is kill all humans. But no,
          Godzilla was all like: “Sorry I let my
          dogs loose around your kids, let me just
          punch them to shit and I’ll be on my
          way.” All that movie missed was
          Godzilla giving Quicksilver and The
          Scarlet Witch the thumbs up before
          returning back to the ocean.
               R:
          The point the movie its trying to make
          is fine, but I have no idea what the film
          wants me to think at times. It's all over
          the place. Especially the music. The
          music contradicts the scenes a lot of
          times. in one scene The movie wants
          me to be sympathetic to Godzilla and
          the next scene it wants me to be afraid
          of it. It feels like a guy punching a dog
          almost to death and then suddenly pet
          him and saying everything will be all
          right.
               T:
          Is not!
               R:
          Is too!

     R:               T: